I'm mobile!

I'm sort of an oxymoron because as much as I like to keep up, technology is racing ahead of me. I used to have to have the latest and greatest but now I'm learning to be content with what I have. Trial and error had me switching smart phones before I could even break 'em in.  I've become less social so the feeling that I need every new high fallutin' app or gadget is squelched. 
The downside to contentment means for every newfangled toy that I bypass, when I do decide to upgrade, I'm lost and overwhelmed by all the gains in sophisticated technology....and mind you, this could just be a span of months. Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger and its taking all of my depleting brain cells to get back up to speed, hence, now I have at my means to blog...oh the excitement, the tingle of my fingers just itch at the idea. 

Be well.

Emotional disconnect. That's where I'm at right now. Life just runs on one long continuum. The only thing about this that bothers me is my writing isn't happening. My mind is spammed with so much extraneous bullshit, my pen is reduced to putrid and petulant scribbles. One bright spot in all of this is the side excursion I've taken into some good reads. Hopefully this lull is only temporary.

Soooo Into You

Chemistry's good and you're ready to take it past the phone calls, beyond the getting-to-know-you's and as smitten as might be, may I suggest kindy once you finally see the picture you've visualized in your mind's eye materialize, do us and yourselves a favor: S-L-O-O-O-W down!!! The last first date I had moved so fast, I almost wrote him off. I figured it would follow a natural progression since we were romantically feeling each other but after the initial hug and peck, brutha man kicked his adoration into hype mode dipping his tongue down my throat with a kiss so wet I had to wipe my face and reapply my make-up. And this continued throughout the date when at every opportunity after that first saint bernard kiss, he would pucker up between green lights at an intersection, after holding my door in and out of the car, inside the store, on the train's platform and even after garlic-laced meals at an italian restaurant. It became unbearable along with the effusive compliments and longing puppy dog stares. His likeability factor dropped a notch above tolerance and although I didn't want to seem non gratis, I was worn out! I couldn't wait to end the date and get back my energy. My girlfriend's first date, instead of kissing her hand gentleman-like, sucked each and every one of her fingers and palms with his whole tongue...ugh! So if at all possible fellas, please put your testosterone and libido in check. Us ladies like to be romanced not oogled and devoured like a piece of steak, especially, ESPECIALLY on the first date. Save the lavish affection for later. You'll know its mutual if you're left in a pleasant state of being afterewards. Savor a bit of our mystery and I promise you, you'll get double the pleasure next time if you do this. Or else you'll find her putting the brakes on you faster than a minute.

Things about Introverts I betcha didn't know

a list of interesting introvert traits:

1. Introverts make up about 25% of the general population.

2. Introverts are interested in facts and details.

3. Introverts don’t like interruptions.

4. Introverts love to read.

5. Introverts need time for themselves.

6. Introverts say what they mean.

7. Introverts are not interested in trends.

8. Introverts are creative, resourceful and self-reflective.

9. Introverts make up about 60% of the gifted population.

10. Being an introvert is ok. It is not a negative characteristic that needs to be overcome.

Doing my thing

                                                      "I do my thing, and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful"

-Frederick E. Perl

I was gonna add to my short list of friends...but I quickly recovered from that lapse in thinking. It's a given, I function on lower levels of energy than most. I know my 'people' limit. I understand wanting that human connection, needing that human element just to function, to feel ok about one's self but some people attach themselves like a magnet and suck the lifeblood, drain what little energy my body contains right out of me. A soul begs to be left alone.
Around people I feel I have to be 'on'.
Too much togetherness, I get antsy, irritation creeps in. That's just me.
We all wear masks in public. I do it for protection, not to push others away.
Once in awhile someone comes along and we find a mutual balance.
However, most care only to the extent of the feeling they get being with someone. The person becomes their drug, a fix, needing it constantly. Without it, they become down, depressed. They crave constant togetherness. I'm the complete opposite. I'm repulsed by neediness.
I walk alone, prefer solo flight. I'm opinionated. Stubborn, yet willing to share a smile, my mind, even...but I find comfort and pleasure in the most unlikely places within my own company and mental sojourns. I'm a free radical. Been this way ever since I can recall. Unfortunately, three-forths of the world cannot grasp such a concept.
But I've come to my understand this is who I am and it's something I can't change. Don't want to. And this is where I run into trouble the most as if I could will myself into a gregarious extrovert, as I could change like the clothes I wear or as if I'm an I'll-fitted pair of shoes needing broken in.
Choices. Something I keep a steady supply of, in my back pocket. They come in handy when the attachee becomes soul-sucking.
I'll exercise my right to be free-in a minute. Not because I don't like you or I don't care but because I choose to not be restricted, confined, bound by others expectations
Anyways...
I deleted my myspace. I had two friends on it. It was two too many. And Tom was one of them, lol. Sorry Tom. I figure the point of myspace is but another way to 1) garner attention, 2) network (i.e. trade favors with strangers) and for dalliances of the personal, uh secret kind..and oh yeah, to amass hordes of people you'll never ever meet. Unless you're a bonifide artist, myspace usefulness caters to attention seekers and ofwhich I will never become.
So I did away with it. Same for a few other sites I belonged to.
I just let it all go.
But I knew her from a forum. We traded emails and im's back and forth, next thing you know, I'm invited to yahoo360, tojoin yet another blog, to create another email acct, ecetera...and all for what? Nah..it is, for me, absolute sensory overload-but for most, probably normal.
I cannot do it. I just cannot. I ignore my home phone when it rings. I might check emails once a couple of weeks. My chat status stays 'invisible' until (I) want to chat. Some things just aren't that necessary.
Comunication technology has gotten out of control. True communique is no longer sacred. We've been reduced to connection transmitted through fiber optics and phone static, cyber chat, and over the internet.
So much is lost in translation and what was once a convenience have become,
for me, an intrusion, at worst, a nuisance, at best. Did you know if you delete someone from your i.m list. they can still chat u up if you're still on their list....sheesh!!
My sistah' gurl sent, through a text message no less, one of those 'god loves u' emails. It violated all of my sensibilities.
I'm reduced to quietude within all this chattiness, turning inward. I guess it might be too much to ask to want to two-step
with someone's intellect, meet mind to mind and heart to heart as intimacy becomes the drumroll, the static, if you will, that trumpets a spiritual connection, one that's truly soul to soul.

Peace

Randomness

Today's August 4th. Happy 47th Birthday Barack!! And it's still the silly season of politics. How can you be elite if u aspire to the best life has to offer? If it's within your means, why the heck not? Note to McClueless: hate is a sickness. Other randomness...have you ever felt a connection without any relation to an event? Ok..I tried to watch Shawshank Redemption last week but I didn't make to the end. As habit, I tend to fall asleep watching a movie at home. No matter how good it is or how anxious I want to see it. Anyway, last night I made it to the end (mostly) after my 2nd attempt. Today, I hear Morgan Freeman was in a near fatal car accident at 71. This made me me think of daddy, who's 72. I hope M.F. pulls through ok. This made me homesick thinking how I'm not getting any younger which means my parents aren't either. What I'd give to feel some coastal breezes, or hear the sway of palm trees...I'd break my 'no beef' rule and scarf down a carne asada burrito or pastrami from Bruno's...but most importantly I'd be with family. I miss home. Other randomness...so me and babygurl are dining at the best all-u-can with the initials of G. C. and the next table over from us sat dude Antwon Fisher, or the actor in the film of the same name with Denzel Washington back in ummm...some long time ago. It wasn't such a deal, heck-I didn't know it was him except people kept coming over to him for a photo-op with their camera phones. I might be wrong, but why is a d-list actor who hasn't seen work since, creating such a commmotion? And why is he at all an all-u-can restaurant? Maybe it's just me. Ok...back to 'rain on my parade' eric roberson on repeat. 3 days now...no particular reason...he's just so damn poetic. He invokes so many mental scenarios with his lyrics. Then I talk to someone and they're listening to e.r. too. See what I mean?

all about me

It’s been a min. since I’ve substantially blogged. There's so much stuff rolling around in my head I'd like to write about. I have all the good intentions (like a handfull of loose change) but I don't seem to get around to it. In my inventory, I'm getting rid of mentall clutter. I'm reducing my needs, increasing my wants, fine-tuning my passions and totally doing away with the 'shoulds'. Oh yeah, I came across a great article about introverts. It explains so much of what I encounter in daily life (click on title in this post). And in other news… I watched the final episode of Dancing with the Stars last night and oh my, oh my…Jason Taylor…what a hunka-hunk!!! And now for a moment of silence… Six foot six of pure brute-aqua velva manliness! I’m glad ice princess Kristi won. She donned dancing shoes and did her thang. Mucho propos…but back to Jason. Who’d a thunk Jason, the testosterone-filled football player woulda’ (coulda') made it this far. He was all the grace of a Clydesdale. What I would have given to be underneath him when he did that handstand-to-horizontal flop at the end. He had serious hang time as he shifted hands...had me *drooling* visual dance interpretations of a totally different kind. Yep he is def on my short list…along with Barack, dwele g. and a certain other. There's something ‘bout smooth men with looks, intellect and swag that just makes me swoon. O-kaaayyy...back to reality.

the price of gas

Peace within

After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul; and you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises...

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, and to risk life as you grow into the the person you're destined to become...

You know...the best kind of friend is the kind you can just be with; never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Have a coke & a smile

at the Coca Cola Museum

me and my crew on a family outing...

soundbite...me

"different does not mean deficient" -Rev Jeremiah Wright

yesterday...

I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said "gray is the new black" and yesterday I filled my gas tank with mid-grade at the cost of $3.69. Hmmmm, might there be a correlation?

Travel-lite

Delta Airline, home-based here in Atlanta, is upping the cost of checking a second piece of luggage to $25. and they're also tagging on an additional $3 charge for curbside check-in claiming rising fuel costs (and possibly to remain solvent). I wonder if that'll help their lost luggage rate. Last polled, they topped the list. There is nothing more fustrating than arriving at your destination while your bags are still flying the friendly skies, or worse, left like the homeless sitting out in an open terminal, tossed among look-a-likes unclaimed and unmonitored...where someone can just come grab a bag and walk away undetected. One disgruntled person coined the very appropiate acronym: (D)on't (E)xpect (L)uggage (T)o (A)rrive

Sex in the City

The first national study of four common sexually transmitted diseases among girls and young women has found that one in four are infected with at least one of the diseases, federal health officials reported Tuesday. Nearly half the African Americans in the study of teenagers ages 14 to 19 were infected with at least one of the diseases monitored in the study - human papillomavirus ( HPV ), chlamydia, genital herpes and trichomoniasis , a common parasite. The New York Times (3/12/08) My son laughed me off when I mentioned this while him and I watched MTV's reality show about teens & pregnancy. Sex is much more than about babies bringing babies into the world. There's an all around epidemic going on and kids are at the center of this storm. Pleeeazzze believe it.

Things Men Should Never Do In Front of Women

from Esquire Magazine Reveal how much your car cost. Clean your gun. Polish high school trophies (which you still have displayed). Refer to your mother as your best friend. Rap. Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter. Question our footwear. Blow-dry your hair. Tip less than 20 percent. Celebrity impressions. Impressions of us. Forget to carry cash. Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's justa goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction. Wii. Boot and rally. Scream—at the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at Bill Belichick. Because, no matter how much Belichick deserves it (cheater!), when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for. Talk about former exploits. Ever. Use the words bi*a^tch, slut, tramp, or whore, unless referring to another man. Tell us you're going to kiss us. (Just get on with it!) ADDENDUM: Flick a booger. Chew a toothpick. Scratch. ANYWHERE. Suck teeth. Grab any part of my anatomy unless I give you permission. Speak on topics in mixed company better left alone. Compare my cooking/cleaning to your mother's or grandmother's. Measure the shape of my butt or breasts against those of an ex. Use my dayum toothbrush. Clip your toenails

Happy Leap Year!

Today is the 29th day of February, a date that comes only once every four years - in periods also known as "Leap Years." How does this happen, you wonder? The 366th day of the year is the result of the fact that the earth actually takes 365 days and six hours to orbit the sun! Thereby, every four years an additional day accumulates (6 hours x 4 years = 24 hours) - or at least that's how we decide to divide it. As rare as the date alone is, rarer still is a February 29 that falls on a Friday. This will happen only 14 times in 400 years - approximately three times in a lifetime. So enjoy your day - and relish it. Friday, February 29 won't occur for about another 30 years!

Let's get real

Dropping bags at the door, shaking off the pouring rain after leaving the Beta Club induction for babygirl, picking up my son from the bus stop and grabbing some sandwiches at Subway, I barely made it home for the beginning of the debate. My kids beat me to the remote anticipating my eagerness and then corraled with me on the couch to watch and analyze the event. The sad thing about watching last night's debate with Sen. Barack and Clinton was watching Hillary make calculated misstep after calculated misstep. Firing the 'xerox' writer isn't enough to rope her back into the campaign. She's become like a flamenco dancer with one foot in a bucket of cement. I mean, 'let's get real'. I did like how Obama maintained his poise, even though I wished for a more profound answer to the last question on 'being tested'. I'll admit Hillary almost had me reaching for a kleenex. Seeing my kids geeked to watch the debate over American Idol put me in a proud-mama-moment. I got stumped when babygirl asked what happens to all the extra money the candidates raise and then they lose the nomination. Hmmm...I got some researching to do.

The Poetry of Roger Clemens

The Rocket's collected works. By Hart Seely Posted Friday, Feb. 15, 2008, at 3:37 PM ET Roger Clemens On Wednesday, baseball great Roger Clemens stood before the U.S. Congress, seeking to defend his honor and his soul. History will decide whether Clemens told the truth in denying a former trainer's claim that he had used performance-enhancing drugs. But one point is clear: In his testimony and depositions, the Rocket has hurled a poetic masterpiece, with a repertoire that ranges from free-form verse to haiku. The poems that follow are the pitcher's exact words, excerpted from transcripts of Wednesday's testimony and the deposition the pitcher gave to the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform earlier this month. "Saving the House" It was a sports court. I enclosed that into a gym. Best investment ever, by the way. It's saved the house from the kids. — Feb. 5, 2008, deposition "Offensive Haiku" I am offended. I will be honest with you. I am offended. — Feb. 5, 2008, deposition "Ghost Andy" He looked at me, Wringing his hands, White as a ghost And asked me What are you going To tell them? And I told him I'm going out there To tell the truth. — Feb. 13, 2008, hearing "Stop Sign" In Boston, I know I was on prednisone. I remember that because actually I came here to visit the White House When the president was in, And my head looked like a stop sign. — Feb. 5, 2008, deposition "Somebody's Tried To Break My Spirit in This Room" Somebody's tried to break my spirit in this room. They're not going to break my spirit. I'm going to continue to go out And do the things that I love to do, And try and be honest and genuine To every person I can be. It's the way I was brought up. It's what I know. — Feb. 5, 2008, deposition "Glute" I have strained my glute On a couple occasions. I wish I could tell you How many occasions. — Feb. 5, 2008, deposition "Me" I have never smoked a cigarette. I have never smoked dope. I have never done cocaine. I would not put anything— Allow anybody to put anything— In my body That's going to be harmful to me. That's who I am. — Feb. 5, 2008, deposition "Headaches" Kids come to my house and work out. I invite them to come work out. The littler kids, I try to get them to sign a waiver In case a bat comes out of my hand, or a ball. We've experienced that. That's headaches. — Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

MLK Jr's dream lives on

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." -Mohandes K. Gandhi "We must accept finite disappointment, but never loss infinite hope." -Martin Luther King, Jr If you eve get the chance, if you ever want to feel the deep sense of commitment and compassion imbued and espoused by this man, a visit to the memorial, his home and church is a must, http://www.nps.gov/malu/ preferably on a non-historical day to avoid the media hawks. For me, it was the most stirring experience, one that I will not ever forget. Incidently, I know of no instance where MLK acknowledges himself as a poet, but when I listen to his speeches, his oratorical skills are so superior, his use of poetic devices like alliteration, repetition, chiasma, rhythm, imagery and metaphor are so rich, smooth, engaging and encouraging that I'm still moved even after all these years. No wonder he became the chosen one to rally for the black cause. No one, since, has stirred a people to the degree he did for 'positive' effect. Thanks Martin. We owe you.

...and this leads me to another thought

I fear the stagnation of trembling passion. It was with love that I dove head first in the river. Starting at the deepest part. -- This reminds me of a time around the tender age of eleven or so when the discovery of unwalled fear was a 18 foot 2x4 stick that me and my brother and apartment dwelling play-cohorts would use to test the depths of the pool in our complex. Taking this cumbersome piece of lumber, I knelt on the edge of the kidney bean pool at the 12' ft marker, the deepest part. Why this memory suddenly comes to mind baffles me but what I do remember is I came within four minutes of my life when, as I pushed this long wood plank into the water towards the bottom, and as fascination took hold, I was bumped into the chlorinated depths of a mealy-mouthed shark ready to devour me. I was sucked in like an uncorked drain. Out of us four, no one, including me knew how to swim, so as I flailed and flung wildly (I'm later told), they watched aghast, in shock. My brother in his infinite wisdom of 10 years managed to lean into the water and catch my flailing hand as I was going under-probably for the last time...ok, ok...I may be dramatizing a little but, hey! I could not be here right now writing this so I'm telling you this with factual embellishments...anyways....I'm, pulled out sputtering & coughing and after I fully recover, I resisted the urge to smack Dana because we were all scared and glad I was ok. We ditched the plank in search of safe, more mischevious ways to stir up trouble like catching butterflies and putting them in a mayonaisse jar prisons. We even had the nerve to put blades of grass in the bottom -as if that would ease their confined comfort or we would pluck leaves from the sticker bushes and sneak up on each other until we all were walking around paranoid. After the drowning episode though, I learned how to swim but I've never been able shake the idea of feeling like I'm in a room without walls when I'm near large bodies of water or bridges-just the idea alone of driving over a bridge fills me with panic. I would rather drive the long way around...it un-nerves me. I get all prickly, dizzy and sweaty. I'll skip the bridges and deep wide mouths of the hungry oceans, keep my feet fimly planted on terra firma thankyouverymuch.